How do the Struggles of Depression and Anxiety Change Our Daily Lives?
A Client’s Perspective
Depression and anxiety can make living your day-to-day life very difficult. It can be caused by many different factors. Trauma, loss of a loved one, lack of support or love, and more. Depression looks different for everyone. People can hide how they are truly feeling really well in social settings. You would never think that the funniest kid in school would be struggling, but you never know what they do when they are alone.
When dealing with depression and anxiety, the things you used to love might start to feel like a chore. Going through the motions, but not mentally focused. When the anxiety takes over, and you get trapped in your own thoughts, it feels like you are on a mind roller coaster. Sometimes, small inconveniences can trigger something from the past such as, hearing yelling at the TV for sports. Even though it is not the same type of yelling or violence, the sound of yelling can trigger your PTSD.
My Experience
In the middle of my last relationship, of two years, I started birth control and antidepressants. This caused my emotions and depression to increase tremendously. I started to isolate myself from everyone and everything in my life. I had no motivation or excitement in my life. I was angry all the time, didn’t enjoy my sport, and most importantly, I started to hate myself. I started to believe that I wasn’t good enough for anyone, even myself. I had people telling me he cheated on me and he convinced me otherwise. I was worried constantly and had no trust anymore. The last eight months of our relationship was a lie. This made me have severe trust issues with future relationships, even friends. I didn’t believe anything anyone said to me.
I would go on dates, give myself away, entertain many people, until I hated it. I hated giving myself away. I was done feeling unworthy and unwanted. I took a step back and saw that this lifestyle was not for me. I have never had self esteem problems, until my ex boyfriend ingrained into my head that I was not enough. I had to be strong and confident and know that I am in fact enough. I was done letting him take my sparkle away from me. I was done letting him control my happiness. I worked on myself constantly and gained my love for myself back. I relearned that I am not the last priority, I am the first priority to myself before anything else. I take my own needs into play, I check in on myself, I take myself on dates, and the self respect and self love I have gained, is something I have noticed and people around me have also noticed. People tell me that my happiness is back, my smile is back and that is what is most important in life.
How I Gained my Self-Love Back
Some things I found that were super helpful to gain self-love, is to truly take care of yourself. Even if all you do in a day is brush your hair and teeth, that is still a form of self-care. Taking time to yourself, whether it be taking yourself to go get food, watching the sunset alone, taking a drive, even a nice long shower are all things that help you connect with yourself. I really enjoy doing skincare, so that is my favorite form of self-care.
“I ended up getting off of my antidepressants and my emotions and happiness are so much more aligned. I was scared to go off of them for sure. I didn’t know how my mind or body was going to react. When I decided to finally go off of them, I slowly decreased the dosage and eventually just stopped. I no longer felt fragile. When on these medications, they can make you feel like you are a problem, and a pill will just “fix” you ; then when they don’t, they just up the dosage. I feel strong that I am off of them and I can handle my emotions without it. ”
Over the past year, I have laughed more than I ever have, smiled more, and loved more. I try to remind myself that you can not control what other people do or think. You can’t let what other people do to you affect your day or happiness. As long as you are happy and you are enjoying life, who cares what people think or say about you. People are so consumed in other peoples lives when they are not satisfied with their own life. Take a step back, look around, and enjoy what you have right in front of you.
